Couples ask me the same two things on a viewing. How much is it, and how many people fit. Then they run out, and we stand there admiring the moat.I don't blame anyone. You've probably never booked a wedding venue before, and you're not supposed to know what to interrogate. But those two questions tell you almost nothing about whether the day will work, and I've been doing this since I reopened Tudor Barn in 2009, so I've watched enough weddings to know which details do. They're duller than the ones in the brochure. Time, access, weather, and who's standing in the room at 10am when the florist hasn't turned up.

Here's what I'd ask. In this order.

1. Do we get the venue to ourselves, and from what time?

Exclusive use is a stretchy phrase. At some places it means your function room is private and the public bar downstairs is still going. At others it's the whole site, gates shut, nobody else. Get the actual hours in writing.

Ours runs 10am for supplier set-up through to midnight. Ten in the morning sounds like a small detail and isn't, it's the difference between a florist doing something properly with a five-hundred-year-old roof structure and a florist throwing greenery at it in forty minutes with her coat still on.

2. What's included, and is there a minimum spend?

Two models, and venues aren't always straight about which one they're running. Fixed packages look simple, until you notice everything you actually want sits outside them. Minimum spends are more flexible and give you the option to create your own package.

We do minimum spend. You decide where it goes across food and drink. Some couples put it into a three-course dinner, some want a hog roast and a serious bar. One couple last year spent a chunk of theirs on a second round of canapés because they'd been to a friend's wedding that ran out of food at three in the afternoon and had clearly never recovered.

Then ask what sits on top of the minimum. Corkage, cake cutting, chair covers, staff past midnight. None of it's unreasonable. You just want to know before you sign rather than one month before the date of the wedding.

3. Where does the ceremony and drinks reception happen if it rains?

This is the one that separates venues who've thought about it from venues who haven't. If you get a shrug and "we'd move it inside", ask how long that takes and who does it. If they say twenty minutes, ask where ninety guests stand while it's happening.

We've got three ceremony locations, the Tudor Gallery, the Fireplace Room and the option to have an outdoor ceremony on our Front Lawn, which is available between April to September. Having more than one licensed option under a roof is the bit that saves you. A wet Saturday becomes a Friday morning decision instead of a disaster.

4. How many fit sitting down, and how many later?

Different numbers. Venues quote whichever one flatters them, so get both.

We seat up to 180 for a plated meal and 160 for a hot fork buffet, same room, nothing must migrate to a marquee halfway through the evening. Also worth asking whether the seated figure assumes the dance floor is already down, because a dance floor can quietly eat ten covers.

5. Who's going to be running my wedding on the day?

Not the person selling it to you. The person on shift.

Ask if you get a named event manager, when you'll meet them, and what happens if they're ill. Every booking here has one, and you will probably get to meet them long before the day of the wedding. If a venue can't tell you who's running your wedding, notice that.

6. Can we bring our own suppliers?

Some have closed lists. Some charge for anyone from outside. Some are relaxed about florists and firm about caterers, which is normally about kitchens and insurance rather than money, though not always.

Ask category by category - catering, bar, DJ, photographer, cake, décor. We've got an in-house entertainment company and Staar Productions does DJ’s dance floors, photo booths, lighting, food carts and more. Plenty of couples still bring their own people and that's fine but be prepared to pay administration fee’s if this is your venues requirement.

7. What time does the music stop, and what time do you?

There's the licence, and there's the real answer. Venues in residential settings often have a sound limiter, or a hard stop on outdoor music well before the bar closes. Neither is a problem if you know about it. Both are a problem at quarter to ten when the band gets pulled off mid-song.

So: last orders, music curfew, and are they the same time. If they're not, what are your guests doing in the gap.

8. How do people get here, and where do they park?

Half your guest list makes its travel decision off whatever you print on the invitation, so you need this from the venue rather than from Google.

We're about five minutes from Eltham station, twenty minutes out of central London, and we have our own private car park. My advice to every couple is to be honest early. People will cheerfully get a train if you tell them there's a train. They'll be furious if they've assumed a car park and found a residential road.

9. What are the rules on cars, deliveries and set-up?

Skipped constantly, but it’s super important that you understand the venues logistics.

Here, one car comes onto the grounds, the bride’s car and it can stay until the bride and groom come back down after the ceremony for photos (if required), then it moves off. That isn't us being awkward. We are based in a public park, so we are only allowed to have suppliers and the brides’ cars enter our grounds at certain times. Everyone else parks either in our car park or kerb side.

Ask any venue how their access handles a long wheelbase vintage car. And ask where the cake and the florist unload, because it's rarely the same place as the guests.

10. What have you got booked the day before and the day after?

Nobody asks this. Everybody should. It governs when you can drop things off, when you collect them, and how much time the team has to reset a building between two weddings.

Wedding the night before yours? Ask what time set-up realistically starts, not what time it says on the contract. Wedding the night after? Ask when your things need to be gone and who's responsible for them overnight.

The eleventh question – do you have any restrictions? What doesn’t work here?

Every venue has something, and usually more than one. A tight kitchen, or a corner nobody wants to sit in during February, or a path that turns to mud the moment it rains, or a neighbour with strong feelings about bass after ten.

Some of ours is that we're a listed 16th century building sitting in 13 acres of parkland, we don’t allow helium ballons due to the height of our ceilings or real flames, we also don’t allow Ceilidh bands and drinks on the dance floor. When something is over 500 years old, we need to treat it kindly.

A venue that answers that question straight will be straight with you about everything else. A venue that says "nothing" is either not listening or not telling you the truth, and you'll find out which on the day, when it's a bit late.

Let me answer your questions and come and see the only original Tudor Barn remaining in London - 0800 433 2351, or eventssales@tudorbarneltham.co.uk.